night cycling from friday-saturday. almost 7 hrs of cycling. i had tuition after the event and stayed awake for like 30hrs. it was good.
but when i got back to school things werent so good. not much of it has to do with me but you messed with my friend you messed with her head and her emotions i hate you seriously ugh this is so frustrating.
and click. idk what to say anymore ): everyone who knows me associate me (and wahlim) to being these insane fans of the click five and faris said something last week which pissed me off cos he said we wouldnt last long as fans wtf is your problem you dont know anything but seeing as how you're faris i shall let you off. your ignorance saved you. for now.
why click why. so disappointing.
still not studying why i dont even care that the exams are in a few days i cant believe myself why am i so lazy. why do i not care. what if i get retained. how can i turn this around when this feels so hopeless.
i miss being carefree but this is my fault anyway i seem to always regret thing i dont do in terms of my education. i was disappointed with my psle scores do i want to disappointed with my O level scores as well? i never learn, do i.
someone please shoot me. im lucky to be in singapore getting good education and enjoying the security why to i complain so much why. i wish the exams wouldnt come i wish i had more time to practice maths the world is filled with what ifs.
everyday is a blessing i could be dead tomorrow. why dont i live everyday to what its worth? self bashing yes but i deserve this i do really dont try to tell me i dont i know what i've done. i screw things up for myself thats what i do. dont want to retain. i want to be able to do this.
i also what you to disappear from my head. please just get out it's been so long it's getting old.
if any of my irl friends read this can you remind me to do homework, buck up, revise, whatever? go on study dates with me? i need this. i need your help i cant do this on my own. i want to get out of this hole and my internet bbz ily but i dont think i should hang around until after the exams. i know i wont be able to do anything if i'm online. but i BABA J00 you know that.
hopefully i wont be a mess when i get back.
Monday, September 22, 2008