The day is coming to an end and i have to say, my 18th birthday is not how I expected it to turn out at all.
I suppose I was a little "rebellious" though? I skipped memory verse competition, even after I was spotted by aunty Soke Fung who said she wanted to combine my class (which consisted of me only) with another class. I really didn't see the point when I didn't memorise a single verse, which is the whole point of having a competition in the first place, so I didn't go.
Janice and Cherlyn got me a Regina Spektor album! At first when I opened it I was a little apprehensive cos I didn't know any of the songs but boy, is this album good. I'm so glad they got it for me cos I wouldn't have gotten it for myself otherwise. Thanks so much! <3
Regina Spektor is so lovely.
Mel got me this super cute necklace! It's a hot-air balloon whee
Seo Young stole the ribbon Janice used to wrap the album. Sigh haha
Thought I might spend the day alone
but I went to have lunch with Mel and then Yixin and Sam joined us
My mum asked me when I was going to my grandmother's house (so it was like expected that I was supposed to go?) to cut the cake
I kinda wish she bought the cake but didn't bring it to grandma's house
I made my way to Punggol and got a call from my third aunt/godmother whose tone felt to me like she was trying to make me feel guilty for going down later cos my dad had to leave soon
Seriously though it didn't even matter if my dad was there to watch me cut the cake. My family, we're not super insistent on things like this... A few years ago I realised I had to ask for a cake for my birthday, if not they might not even get me one, so yeah. We're not big on the whole cake thing. We do go for dinner though.
Okay so I reach and we cut the cake, which was YUMZ but then everyone ate my damn cake and didn't realise that I hadn't eaten any. How wonderful. How observant.
I did eat a slice, then the rest went into the fridge.
Went to my youngest aunt's bedroom to use my phone/itouch/mabe get some sleep but two aunties(fifth and youngest/sixth) came in and we talked for quite awhile till I just stopped talking and went to sleep.
Slept for about an hour. Felt like I wasted my day.
Ate dinner (laksa yay so yum)
Was going to get my stuff to go home then...
Got called fat by my youngest aunt. I went to the room pretending not to hear anything and heard someone else say "plump la, not fat" and then my fourth uncle was like "you cannot say plump la...."
WAH INSULTED ON MY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY
THANKS A LOT, thanks for your insensitivity. Please take a look at yourself before saying I'm fat, thanks.
It was partly the drapey part of the dress and partly cos I'd just eaten (laksa too) and was kinda bloated
BUT EVEN IF I WAS FREAKING HUGE, CAN YOU NOT JUST KEEP YOUR OPINION TO YOURSELF ON YOUR NIECE'S DAMN EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY?
I hate them doing that. They've been doing that since after I hit puberty. My weight, my choice of clothes, everything also must say. One of my five aunts CONFIRM will have something to say.
I'm so tired of it. My life, my choices, who are you to judge? Unless I'm obese la. Then I guess you can ask me to take care of my body better, but what is this I'm not overweight okay.
And my choice of clothing. Am I dressing like a slut? No. THEN COMMENT SO MUCH FOR WHAT
seriously. I asked my mum, what if I became anorexic because of their comments? And she said it's cos they know I'm sensible.
I'M SENSIBLE MEANS I GOT NO FEELINGS IS IT?
Seriously WHY DO I HAVE TO CRY ON MY BIRTHDAY ALL THE TIME
IS THIS AN ELIADA RITUAL COS I NEVER WANTED THIS
I SHOULD HAVE GONE OUT ON MY OWN
WHY MUST I SPEND IT WITH AUNTS THAT CRITICISE ME AND COUSINS I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH?
Next time I don't want to go to my grandmother's house and my mum tries to make me go i'm going to use this to escape ha
Anyway was wearing my shoes then my mum asked if I wanted the rest of the cake
YES OF COURSE YES
FAT THEN FAT LA I WANT MY CAKE
I was going to blog
"even though today is not what I expected it to be, I still thank God for it"
And I've decided that I still thank God for today. Because the first half of my day was really nice. And my mum bought me cake. And I got an angbao from my grandfather who to me always seemed aloof. An my fifth aunt got my a necklace too. And my cousin gave me bubbletea. And throughout the day I had facebook wishes. And my superawesome ZHSS kids were so protective and comforting when I tweeted about the fat thing. Because I got superawesome presents. Because Yinshuang sang a song for me yay. Cos Sam's coming with Bing to gimme a birthday cupcake yayy
Because God's blessings in my life are so much more than the bad things that happen
I just have a bad habit on focusing on the bad, but remembering all the nice things today certainly puts things into perspective. Ranting about it makes me feel better though.
Family is family, I suppose. They never fail to drive you nuts.
Looking forward to dinner with Chingmay and maybe hopefully a few more people!
And also more presents HAHAHAHA kidding kidding!
Okay today was a very mixed day.