I feel like this week is a complete fail.
Okay wait did I pray on Mon? I don't remember, but that is not the point! Oh yah I didn't really.
Like I'm slowly going back to my old habits.
Complaining about people. Being super undisciplined.
Read the last three chapters in the book we're doing for baptism class and the last chapter which talks about the role women have in the church really bugged me.
I don't know if that had a slight influence in me being less determined to read the Bible, but it's really not a valid reason, is it.
Anyway I really really hope the elder/deacon taking the class can shed some light on the matter. I don't want him to say something like oh, this thing was written in the 1950s anyway so it doesn't apply to us now. It's like saying the Bible doesn't apply to us either cos it's so old anyway.
Maybe I should read it again from a different angle.
Sigh. Need to be more consistent. I'm really bad at it ):
Oh and I have no problem accepting that women aren't supposed to speak in the congregation etc and stuff it's just that I have a hard time with some of the practices that were discontinued a while ago.
Ack I don't know.
I hope someone can explain it to me.
(Disclaimer: this is a joke - Any time some teacher or whoever asks me to share in open worship I can tell them it's not very Biblical of women to be speaking and stuff during service. Wahaha.)
One of those times I wish I had someone who understood to rant to.
And now it's time for bed.
Oh yes. TeenSG again tomorrow. I am quite nervous, going to prepare properly before heading over to church. Praying for wisdom to do and say the right things and lead the kids back to God.
Sometimes I feel like me wanting to instill a desire to know God in the kiddos is a ~lofty aspiration~ but then again my God can do anything! Must have more faith.
Have to keep reminding myself many things.
1. My God is an awesome God.
2. Living for Jesus is not always easy.
3. Trusting in God and leaning on him completely can make 2 more smooth sailing.
4. Living for Jesus involves dying to self.
5. Dying to self is difficult.
6. My God really can do anything.
7. My God is always around me.
Must really remember that God is present when I'm teaching, when I'm leading teenSg discussion, when I'm praying, when I'm complaining, when I'm having SG, when I'm eating, when I'm sleeping, ALL THE TIME.
That fact really changes how I want to live each moment of my life.
Okay really time to sleep.