Sometimes I really wonder if my attachment experience is what it's supposed to be. Is this what the lecturers/course manager want me to go through?
I'm genuinely dreading it every week. I really hope next semester we'll all be posted to different centres because I want a mentor that has the time to explain things to me properly and is actually on the ball, knows exactly what I'm supposed to learn. I think I need that kind of instruction before I get confident enough to be more independent and also to be more pro-active and take charge of my learning. I'm not getting that.
I'm doing attachment with Geetha (like thank goodness I don't have to do this alone) and it's really helped me not wanting to wake up every Tuesday and drag my butt to the centre. Anyway the principal of the place spoke to her about part-time work during the sem break. (Is that allowed? Legit stuff? I dunno.)
She didn't talk to me. Okay anyway G told me she said that she thinks G has potential and yada the usual stuff and etc. Got me a bit miffed, actually. Just got the feeling that she(principal) doesn't want me to know. So um does she think I have no potential then? Pfft. Rah now I sound like a jealous bitch ):
I'm not jealous, but I think I might be bitter. Argh. I don't want to be. I don't think I would enjoy working there, I mean, I don't even like going there now. Money is a nice incentive but still.
I feel blessed to have my KSS class every Sunday now, they're kinda like my trainers, whipping me into shape for a real classroom later on. I love doing things for them, like doing the name cards and trying to make Bible stories more interesting and relating the stories to them. Aw <3>
But I do want to be validated, assured that I do have the chops, that I have what it takes to make it. But oh well if I can't get it from the centre I just have to go elsewhere. And I'm pretty sure God's backing me up on this one. All I need is his approval but sometimes it's hard to ignore humans.
Okay so I don't know if I'm still making sense anymore, this sounded so much better in my head hahaha.
I can go through another couple weeks of attachment, and I will do a good job on my file and reflection. I can do this. I can also do well for STB story telling on Wednesday and I can make good props and use them well for the story. (OMG I just had a brainwave~ awesome idea for props ^^) And also CDEV individual reflection and EEPE and WRITCOMM I WILL CONQUER ASSIGNMENTS.
And then play like crazy during the break wheeeeee. But I wanna work too. Earn some moolah, go to Thailand end of the year.
And now I shall give the Lok a proper shoutout cos I'm in the mood. Aren't you glad?
HELLO. It was really awesome having you back, gave me many more reasons to go out during the term break LOL and I think I watched more movies than I would have if you weren't here. Thanks for buying that huge bag of Nougats haha can you believe I haven't finished them I'm so nice I'm gonna give some to Mel till they're all gone aren't you touched. Now that you've gone back don't miss me (and SOMEONE) too much, study hard and go to a good college in Cali/Texas where you won't freeze your butt off anymore like in London. Also, get an international license please, so you can drive us around next time. You should treat us to dinner too cos you're much richer than I am. Thanks in advance LOLOL