hey i was about to go to bed but i couldn't help myself. i needed to let it out.
so many things recently make me kinda sad and disgusted and confused and have me crying out in despair but sometimes i feel like i want to just give it all up and not care anymore.
sometimes it's hardwired into your brain that no, you can't do this and the way people talk to you make you feel like you can't do it too but they're just so fake and pretentious and they say yes you can do this but can you? can you really?
didn't think so.
i also know i'm rambling but i can't help myself, as i've mentioned in the first sentence, i think i have to let it all out before i go bonkers and throw myself off a cliff but you and i both (hello mraz reference) know that's not going to happen at all, don't we.
i don't understand your behaviour. why why why can't you put in more effort? will it kill you to do that? i can't believe i've overlooked this flaw in you for so long now. and you, i miss you, i miss us. or maybe it's just me and you don't need me because i am only one eliada and i'm not all that important, and other people are far more special than me. yeah i know.
and no, you ignorant little...(sorry in a lousy mood), i'm not talking about anything related to the opposite gender. eliada doesn't need a man although she may like eye candy but heck, she certainly doesn't need one to survive. and, why is she talking in third person now?
i don't know. i really don't know anything, do i.
i'm the ignorant one.
how i wish... silly little girl, did you really think wishes come true? stop lying to yourself.
and now i shall attempt to store this girl called eliada emo into the box of her blog. hopefully, the attempt will be successful and eliada emo, no, not eliadayong, will cease to surface for a long, long time.
so what is it going to be? don't be a lemming.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009herd mentality.