Ugh my room is so messy. Gonna clean it tomorrow.

Okay that was not what I wanted to blog about.

Chingmay turned 18! The stayover was pretty awesome, seeing the effect the laughing gas has on people is quite amusing, even though I will probably never try it for myself, and watching Rachel self-destruct during the drinking game was exasperating.

I also probably need to get a swim suit soon.

Went to Ching's house first, supposed to meet at 12 at TPY Central but when I reached at 1230 she was still sleeping tsk. But she was at her class chalet earlier so still okay. Anyway it was her birthday she could do whatever she wanted. Got stuff for later then we went back to her house to nua a bit then we went to MBS. Met Rachel and went to find a cake but cannot find so asked John to buy. In the end Charlene bought hurhur.

FINALLY, after not eating food for the entire day (except I ate some corn snack thing Ching had on her table) we went to Coffee Bean to eat WHEE~

The bagel with cured salmon and cream cheese and salad was SO GOOD. I ate the salad with the salmon and spread the cream cheese on the bagel. SO GOOD. SO SO SO SO GOOD.

LOL anyway after that we went back bah blah people came blah blah taking photos etc etc (I'm lazy to type about this already oops)

Drinking game blah laughing gas blah

Another more siao drinking game blah

Sleep~

I HAD VERY LITTLE SPACE ON THE BED ):

Woke up many times through the morning cos I was pretty uncomfortable. And when alarms went off. Finally officially woke at 8 plus? or 9. Then we went up to the infinity pool~~~

I don't like wearing Ching's bikini which is why I need a swimsuit. Water was very cold so I didn't go in, went to the jacuzzi with C instead whee. At 10 plus the sun came out and the water was cool and not icy cold anymore. It was actually quite shiok but I had already dried off so I didn't want to go in heh. Just had my legs in the water while C tried to tan.

Check out then went to kbox. IKR we are nuts. The sorta usual grouping? Hi-5 minus Limmy plus me and Bing. IDK what is usual I anyhow one.

I very lazy to upload the video now but Li Wei they dedicated a song to you! I didnt sing I just videoed it.

THEN HOME. SLEEP. I slept a lot. I need to exercise sian.

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First TeenSG yesterday. Before that was the church clean up in which I didn't do much. Oops.

I managed to piss Sol off and I felt like shit cos he didn't want me anywhere near him and I was thinking shit shit shit it's only the first session and I'm already capable of making the kids mad at me and thinking "I bet my dad never pissed them off before". I knew he would get over it eventually but man did it make me feel like crap.

Can't help but feel that like the devil was behind it, because I didn't really do anything. Bleh. Was telling myself not to feel discouraged and stuff. Then during the mini competition he and Raph kinda fought and he looked so upset. Then James brought him out and I was thinking shit what if he develops negative feelings toward teenSg and youth fellowship and doesn't want to come back?

But all was resolved by dinner time. I really thank God.

Then today I found out about the whole conflict between Sol/Shihui and Tommy. Okay basically about the class in general. I AM SO SCARED I feel like I'm not ready to handle this.

And my dad brought up the issue of quite a lot of the sec sch kids not attending service to Uncle Patrick since he's a deacon but hasn't got word back from him yet. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. The youths should know what is expected of them and what is not condoned and the leadership should be doing something about it especially since it's becoming so rampant.

What's going to happen to them after they complete sunday school? Some of them might just leave if by then they still don't have fellowship with God. Why is it that our youth are like this? I don't see them having the desire to know God (this is about the majority of the sec 1-4 kids) and wanting to bring their friends to Christ. I feel like they only come to church because their parents come and so they have no choice but to follow, or because they want to be with their friends.

If that's the case when they grow older they won't follow their parents to church anymore and they'll just meet their friends outside. Why come to church and listen to the nagging of the aunties?

):

Certainly seems like the church is not only stagnant, it's also shrinking. People are leaving, be it from the youths or the adults. And we're supposed to be growing. I don't get this at all.

When I worship sometimes I don't feel like the entire congregation is really worshipping. it also doesn't feel like we practice what we preach. Like the priesthood of all believers, for example. The church of God is a royal priesthood, but men aren't stepping up to teach in Junior Sunday School. How many times have speakers said that God looks at your availability, not your ability? yet no one is coming forward. (I specifically said men cos we need more male teachers in JSS, now there's only my dad left...)

We're doing some doctrinal book thing for baptism class and the books states that if there's only one man leading/speaking etc, it results in the congregation becoming professional sermon tasters. Listening to what the guy has to say but not checking if it's the truth for themselves or just taking picking applications that are agreeable to them etc.

I don't know about the checking with the truth, and I might be wrong about this, but I just have a feeling that a lot of us tailor the Christian faith to our own needs, to suit our lifestyle, which perverts the faith and makes us present a distorted view of what Christianity is to non-Christians.

Christian meant "Little Christ" in Greek. I don't think we emphasise on this enough. We're suppose to strive to embody who Christ was. I always hear things like "how can you -insert attribute/action here- more in your own little ways?" (I tell this to my young kiddos, but I think at this young age it's the only way they can understand)

It's like we're only doing it if we can, but if we can't, then too bad. Does anyone understand what I'm trying to say here? It's good that we try to be better, but now that I think of it, although it's subtle, this kind of questioning makes us slowly think that we can change at our own convenience and not because we were called to. My phrasing probably sucks but yeah.

Another thing is the church leadership avoiding controversial topics like the plague. I think that sometimes a little controversy is good. It makes people think. You don't want mindless drones just listening and accepting whatever the person at the pulpit says because they have the knowledge that the elders won't let them listen to any weird things. You want them to want to find out the truth for themselves and not just accept teachings without checking things through.

If you're not careful someone may start teaching false stuff and do it so subtly that you don't realise it and it could slowly corrupt the church and tear it apart.

OKAY I was thinking about shifting the whole church portion to my friends locked LJ but here's my disclaimer in case any church leader of something sees this.

DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS WRITTEN HERE ARE MY OWN OPINION AND MIGHT BE SKEWED OR BIASED. But also since a member of the church feels this way you should probably look into the matters I mentioned.

I think I am done here.

Argh so many emotions/feelings/thoughts.

I guess the only thing that matter is the attitude of your heart and your fellowship with God. It leads to everything else falling into place. But also Satan is around so maybe not always. Hmm.