i wanted to talk to my mum about the whole poly what course do what after o levels thing when she got back home today
BUT SHE HAS NO TIME FOR ME = =
she will nap, do pilates work, do bible study work,
no time for me.
"el ah i want to use the internet later to do my work" is practically the first thing she says when she gets home nowadays. or maybe a "got do your work not?" "why still on the computer?"
for once i'd like a "how are you?" ):
she just told me to "think carefully, and pray."
i'm just asking for a short chat. i wanted to ask of it's okay if a changed my mind and went to the raffles design institute instead of poly. or early childhood or mass comm? pfft.
anyway along with this negligence there has not been a overflowing desire in her to make it up with material goods. pfft again. i wish dad were here now because then i could talk to him and everything would be fine. i don't actually want for more material goods.
is my increasing desire of material goods an indicator, though? it seems to have exploded recently. after dad left? idk.
or maybe i'm too used to them being around? i know a lot of other people don't get to enjoy the relationships i have with my parents but honestly once you have that if you don't work on it then well it'll be painful.
like now. blah.
i think this might be due to the buliding up of resentment of lack of time spent with me over the last two years. wonder of my brother feels it? because i do. but then it wasn't that bad when daddy was around. at least i still had one parent to talk to.
i wish i could tell her but then it's not her fault she's busy either. unless she gives up being a discussion leader at bsf? i dno. aiyah even when she told me she wanted to stop being a leader she only wanted to free up time for herself to do her pilates stuff.
when was i ever part of the equation?
right now the post it notes with ~inspirational~ messages on the comp table are not helping me.
Saturday, September 26, 2009is it just me?