2 June 2011
Normal Thursday, I had Discipleship Group and we were just chatting and stuff waiting for 6pm to have LM(life meeting). That day we were going to have it outdoors. Suddenly there was a commotion and I saw this cat running down the stairs, then running up again, then running away into the canal. I watched the cat run, and tried to call out to her but she just ran further when she saw me approaching.
Then Eliza told me about the kitten left on the steps. Lynn came over and she picked the kitten up. We thought it was a girl.
Lynn held him and Eliza and Melanie went to get a box and maybe a towel for him.
The box came and we placed him in it. After a bit I tried giving him water because I was clueless as to what I could give him. Water was the safest. But he didn't want any.
We kept speculating the reason why the mum ran off, and if we should really separate him from his mother. I was worried he'd die if we didn't, so my mind was sort of already made up to bring him to Claudia's. I texted her and she said bring him over, so I guess the decision was made.
Everyone started asking me if I was going to bring him home, but I couldn't, I told them, I'm bringing him to my friend instead, she'll either keep him, if not he'll be put up for adoption. They started coming up with names too. Latte, Abraham, Luke, etc. I told them all nooooo.
I didn't take part in the activities that night properly. I kept going back to the box to check on him. I didn't like the way KJ was playing with him, throwing the towel over his body, I thought, why are you playing with him when he seems to not enjoy it at all?
LM ended and I went to eat before I shared a cab with Eliza Barry and Sonia. Before we left Jumh came over and I opened up the flap of the box to let him see and he said boo to the poor kitty. I was pissed off at that. Seriously why did you have to do that?
Everyone one else was fawning over how pretty he was though. And he was.
Cabbed to Serangoon and Sonia walked with me to Claudia's house
Claudia thought I got into some fix or something cos I was late. I told her she was overreacting.
Left him with Claudia, after I got home I texted her and she said her mum was pretty okay to keep him, so I made a mental note to visit soonish and to ask if I could chip in for like food/toys or something.
Before receiving her text I told the Crusaders he might be up for adoption, and when KJ said she wouldn't mind adopting him but was just worried about her dog's reaction to him I made another mental not to really tell her where she could adopt him.
Selfish, really. But I wanted to be more involved in his life and the only way to do that was if Claudia kept him. I also told them she was really a him and his name was Popcorn.
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The last couple of weeks, whenever I thought of Popcorn and if I was online I would check Claudia's blog to see if she'd had the time to take pics/upload and blog. If I was in school I would check facebook to look at his pics.
I just went to Claudia's blog and found out he had passed on.
And if you see this, Claudia, don't blame yourself. Life and death, it really is unpredictable. No one could have seen this coming.
I wonder, if I didn't make that decision to take Popcorn away from his mother, would he still be alive? Just as Claudia feels sorry towards me and the crusaders, I feel sorry towards the mother cat. I didn't even know for sure why you ran away. What if you miss your baby?
but let's not blame death on ourselves. Death is this inevitable part of life that all of us will see and experience.
This has been a rather lousy post at trying to articulate my thoughts and feelings after finding out about Popcorn's passing.
Do animals go to heaven? The same one I'm going to? Because I really want to be able to see him again.
I hate that I couldn't have gone earlier to visit and seen him one last time. I hate that he had to die so young. I hate that I didn't have more knowledge of cats to have maybe, possibly, made a better judgement on whether I should have decided to separate him from his mum. I hate death.
I'm sorry Popcorn. I hope you're well and happy and playing now.
