i failed my social studies test! kind of expected, i didn't exactly study. in fact, the whole class failed, except for one. woah. felt bad for ms tan (gim hua), this is actually the first time i've seen her upset. she's always been angry at us, but i've really never seen her almost sad. i'll study for the next test! hopefully i pass.
that wasn't the thing that was bothering me. dunno why i put it up. hah.
how can you possibly compare me and alicia? out bone structure is vastly different, my bones are much bigger. she's also shorter can?!(sorry alicia i didn't mean it that way) every time i complain about my weight my friends go "you're not fat what!" and i know i'm sorta acceptable weight and all that but i guess in the world of dance you have to be thin. if not you're not easy on the audiences' eye.
why did i have to go and be passionate about something that i can never be? i will never be anorexic, and i don't think i can loose that much weight to become "acceptable". gosh, what a blow to someone's self-esteem.
you know what, i have this feeling the reason why i'm so harsh on myself is because of my ballet teacher. oh what troubles this woman has caused me. i feel fat and insecure about my weight and i think i'm ugly(sometimes). yeah, no kidding. i still remember what she said. i no longer feel bitter about it but the impacts of her words continue haunting me. i'm so tired of feeling this way.
SIAN LA WHY AM I TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD THIS.
please don't comfort me, i'll be okay. it'll be extremely awkward if you try to comfort me. i think i might feel worse.
even my aunties contribute to this. 'eh why you wear this ah make you look so fat!' and then my uncle calls me round. my mum calls me fat sometimes.
i think i need to stop calling myself fat. but i NEVER display this insecurity in front of the adults. i only say this to my peers and teens know better then to call their friends fat.
seriously. i need to stop telling the whole world my weaknesses.
recess felt like death today. i felt so small and evil. i felt... i don't know what exactly i felt but it didn't feel good at all. gah. unknowingly someone made me feel like that. i wish i could say it out but then i don't want conflict. but i felt so horrible, like i was a terrible person for even considering that option. (s)he didn't even know.
i want my true friends please.
shannen and claudia we need to have a good long nice awesome talk someday. I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY LA. ):
chingmay i see you like everyday. but i need shopping. soon. i think.
yesterday i was almost sick. why almost? NO FEVER. the one factor that could help me escape from tuition and school. the random muscle aches in my thighs made it so difficult to sleep.
oh see my last post? i have no idea what the goodbye, you was for. sounded nice, fitted in the context of the song, no? LOL. yah no i'm not pining over any idiot.(sorry guys lol)
i think the ranting has made me feel better!
my blog is my complaining ground. so better not take anything here too seriously. i like to blow things out of proportion.
SORE THROATS ARE PLAGUING MANY PEOPLE D:
aiyah byebye lah.