there's like a funeral at the void deck.

but im not paranoid no no no




okay that was weird.

but yeah. bio spa tomorrow is ZZZ. how to do experiment on homeostasis? and ms roxi/mr chong didn't do any practicals with us on that topic so i am scared. how to identify experimental errors?!

i have been bringing dumplings to school for recess for the past week. today i brought the plain ones and homemade kaya (my grandmother made some!) and had three. yum. i gave the last one to chingmay and sibyl and the two fought like madwomen. and they finished all my kaya.

i was so sad. pfft. nevermind i have some at home. but not much more.

i passed chinese! at least i passed heh. B4. not bad. but i want to do betterrrrr. A2 A2 A2 just keep chanting and i might just get it. no wait i shall pray.

i want to do so many things after the Os! learn korean/italian/french, learn to sew (CHEAP CLOTHES YAY), learn to make dumplings :D (next year when my ah ma makes!), read tintin, watch gossip girl (LIWEI I DEMAND THE LINK HEH), go out practically everyday hoho and etc.

and i want to finish reading the Bible! and get a job but we'll see how that goes first.

i know i want to go to a poly but whenever people ask me i just say i don't know. i don't think i could survive in a jc but i suppose it wouldn't hurt to keep my options open.

now all i have to do is to WORK VERY HARD. i can minus 4 points from my aggregate already YAY thanks to four years of higher chinese and many performances for dance.

i do hope i get a 8 pointer. DIFICULT YAH. 8-11 points i think. wide range but i like those numbers. 8 is my favourite number hee.

today clement said he needed a 4 or something. so he needs to get 6 points. then paxton said i could get 8 and still be the same as him HAHAHA okay sorry but i think i like hcl more now lol.

and even if i don't get to jc it looks pretty on the cert. A2!!!

i hope we have a ~wittybitches~ june outing. convo soon yes yes? we desperately need to catch up and talk. i miss you girls.

keziah we must go out also and remember to take photos cos the last time we didn't.

okay im wasting time really but im waiting for my mum to return home with some oyster with eggs thingy. it's yummy OMG IT'S LIKE SUPPER SIAN ALL THAT FAT oh well it's not everyday.

you shouldn't eat 2 hours before going to sleep or something like that. the after 8pm rule is redundant. also if you plan on dieting you should just eat less of everything. everything in moderation!!! and exercise. yeah you can't escape exercise.

clothes clothes clothes!

my post today has no topic, no theme, no nothing. i am simply typing my thoughts out.

which is kinda fun.

where is my mum! >:(

so late tsk. OMG THE LIFT SOUND AND HER FOOTSTEPA AND THE KEY TURNING AND THE LOCK TURNING AND THE SOUNDS AND SHE IS BACK!

okay i shall eat then go to bed. night all!

i am scared.

and it is especially awkward to type this as my dad sings his chinese/hokkien/cantonese songs gaily.

well, he is scared also.

i, we, are scared that one day, my grandmother will fall asleep at the sofa and she just did and never wake up again, never laugh again, or even scold us in her sleepy daze.

or perhaps fall into a eternal sleep and not wake up in the morning.

shucks. i know it will happen but i am not prepared for it.

at least it is in her sleep, of natural causes and not of anything else.

i don't why the sudden fear thing.

i am tired. i dozed off during a math class and during chinese while we were going through the exam papers. sabrina had to tap on the shoulder to wake me up heh.

very tired. but i am sleeping so early. shannen said "life is a shit sandwich. just put more bread and you won't taste the shit." i found it extremely amusing and funny and laughed my head off in the bus on monday :D HAHA it is still funny.

oh but to see you again. clearer.

i think i think too much.

yeah.

anyway. i shouldn't be here, or playing restaurant city. some real estate agent just called and asked if i have any intention of selling my flat. haha it's not my flat. but even my aunts (and grandmother!) who call mistake me for my mum most of the time. it's quite amusing sometimes cos they start blabbering hokkien and i don't quite understand. my hokkien is weak and they speak too fast.

uh yeah. i realised i can't be a superhero. i don't really like spiderman anyway. i suppose my job is just to stick around and see what i can do, y'know? maybe you don't, but that's alright.

talking to shannen and keziah yesterday helped loads :) thank youuuu<3

i love how shannen and i can not talk for months and just lapse into conversation like we just talked yesterday. yay for the buddies you know you will always have a close bond with. im so sorry for pissing you off sometimes (heh) but i don't mean to! all i want to say is thanks loads for being there (: PLEASE DONT FEEL LEFT OUT CLAUDIA/UCHAN/CHINGMAY/SIBYL/NICOLE cos i love you all too hah. just happened to turn extremely nostalgic while typing.

the weather has been so so so hot lately. luckily it rained :] i was so glad! i was falling asleep during a math :O and i dozed for a bit during chinese timed-practice.

and with regards to my last post... uh. i was uh... EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. haha. i think i over thought and over reacted. OMG. it's so eliada. tsk. i just realised i sound seriously nonsensical. like, slightly hysterical. but i was right about one thing: im fine now.

oh the things i type sometimes.

dinner!

gah. many things are happening. i feel so powerless. God, please help me.

i hate talking to my cousin who FAILED HIS ENGLISH AND HE IS IN PRIMARY 3.

i was talking to him AND HE WASN'T LISTENING GO AHEAD AND DIE OR RETAIN IN P6 WHY DONT YOU.

his brother too.

they think they're so smart and high and mighty.

but honestly i am worried for him and his brother. it is such a high percentage of a possibility of them under performing. oh wait, they already are.

you're only supposed to fail in secondary school! okay not really but failing in secondary school is more common than in primary school.

oh and the older one in p4 wants to go to raffles. HAH, with a band 3/2? dream on. you're smart, yes, but not that smart. plus the laziness will get you nowhere. well i am lazy too but i never wanted to go to RGS.

-

okay that wasn't all that i wanted to say. but they really pissed me off.

the korean kiddos are so cute. church makes me happy.

some people make me sad, the disappointed, then furious, then sad again. i have no inkling of what devices to employ to help them. it's just baffling.

i am so so tired.

can't someone else be the strong one now? i want my own chance to crumble but sometimes it feels as if no one will come help me because they all have their own problems. i know a few will, like i would for them, but the others? can i ever help? can i ever trust that they will be okay if i simply don't care?

the recent minimal contact with you caused something to happen. it scares me.

yeah i pretty much feel powerless.

with great power comes great responsibility. i have no power but a lot of responsibilities. it ain't fair. but that's life for you.

DOES ANY OTHER MORTAL SOUL FEEL THE WAY I DO?

because i feel alone. and lonely. both.

before all this sadness and emotion i saw a cutie on the bus today. HAH. he was sleeping and it was cute.

the end. i will be fine as i usually will be.

i just read some stuff that caused somewhat of an inner turmoil in my mind.

i really am exhausted. how do i help you anymore?

it's strange.

i feel utterly disappointed.

i hate feeling like this.

haven't actually felt like this in a long time.

i wish i had mint green tea now.

well hello, dark abyss.

let's start falling down now.

don't falter.

i am

incomprehensible.

ignore me.

yes yes i havent been posting i knowww.

hopefully viewership hasnt dropped too much haha

present photos up soon! this week, if i'm not too lazy/tired.

um, today liwei and i went to haji lane. she got a wallet/clutch and i got a skirt. i feel so guilty it's not even funny but the skirt is so awesome! i shall be broke for a couple of weeks to come, i think. because i still owe many people money.

saturday was fun with shannen the birthday girl, claudia and uchan. i got earphones from them! and with interchangeable covers! 8D birthday card from uchan the very artistic.

the last part of our day was dampened though ): but cheer up, dear! we're here for you.

have you ever gone in circles? square one is where it's at. it's actually pissing me off. and i really don't want to go back there.



song of the moment! the video is super cute :3

dreading school tomorrow.

so, today.wasn't anything spectacular like getting a car (american teens... tsk) or a huge cake and a big party or getting an iphone/ipod touch (LOL) or a big angbao from my parents.

but it was still nice. BUT i still think my parents should get me a present. WHY WHY WHY THEY DON'T I DON'T KNOW.

okay.

but i had very many people wishing me today!

people(not really in order): claudia, chingmay, janice, sabrina, keziah, joey choong, rachel lam, nisa, tanya, shannen, yiwei, jasmine ee, melanie tan, danielle, donna, jayne, li wei, uchan, sibyl, sharin, kimjoo, chinhwee, sherrie, shao bin, baozy, xin yi, sock han, faith, yining, cherlyn, vanessa wong, timothy, sharlene, joanna, uncle nelson, auntie monica, auntie nancy, the people in class who sang the birthday song, chinese class people (chit ann, john, shang yi, melanie, bernice, yiwei, jasmine ee, alicia), facebook well wishers (alex lok, rachel tan, hariz, shiao tze, winnie tan, sharmaine, benjamin), tini the maid, THE BODY SHOP sales person! :D

elaine was like, today's your bithday? and lishi gave me a big grin when shao bin wished me in the library haha. i think eugene wished? if not he said eh today your birthday right i was thinking that it's someone's birthday today then i remembered it was yours(something to that effect). i forgot if he said happy birthday after that. hee.

if i missed out any IM SORRY!!! a lot of people walked past me in school and went happy birthday! and i was like thank you but it was so unexpected and i was surprised so i might not have remembered. still, i really appreciate the thought! :D

oh shannen gave me a card YAY she said she'll give me my present next sat on her birthday when we go out!

keziah ran to serangoon central after school and got me a small cake! she and chingmay lit the candle and then chingmay asked those in the classroom to sing the birthday song haha.

sabrina gave me a very pretty note/exercise book and tiramisu choco and hershey's cookies and cream choco bar. i think im going to use the book for bio notes! :D and the chocolates look so yummy :3

and tanya lied to me! we were at the body shop sale thingy at compass point and they were selling 5 small bottles for 10 bucks and she said she was going to buy for her mum and i helped her to pick out five. after that i went into the store itself to get the mother's day present and other things then when i was done she said open you paper bag. so i did though i was puzzled and she put her smaller paper bag inside. then she went happy birthday. then i was like harrrrrrrrr?

anyway she said her original plan for my present failed thats why she got me the body shop. she still refuses to tell me what the plan was. she says she can use it for next year lol.

tini the maid, upon hearing that it was my birthday, out 10 bucks into an angbao and gave it to me. so cute. i was like AIYOH NO NEED LAH but she insisted. and she might annoy me at time for being so blur but i really thank God for her cos she does not go out with men behind our bags, does not steal even when we leave money out in the open, does not eat and drink our stuff but buys her own, does not do stuff that undesirable maids do. she really works too, even though the toilet is open less than spotless(rememeber my clean fetish in the toilet?).

my dad got me some brownie topped cheesecake! it was a small cake but it's yummyyyyy. it's like crumbled bits of brownie covering the top of the cake. wheeee! also mum made soup! pig liver + minced meat + fried egg + light soy sauce in water + sesame oil for extra flavouring yum yum. apparently that soup is for mothers in confinement to raise their temperature because it's 'heaty' cos their bodies get cold after childbirth. I DONT REALLY CARE AS LONG AS IT'S YUMMY HEE.

and from yesterday to today, i have spent $80.80 on the body shop. no joke. plus registration for membership lah. the numbers are so nice hahaha. go ask my aunts to buy 4D HAHA.

i think i really am blessed, even though im not super rich and have really expensive gifts for my birthday. i have a great family. i have great friends. i have a great God. my life... though shitty in zhonghua will definitely improve if i work hard and go to a good poly.

the only thing that's bad is that i spent all my angbao money. i need $39.90 NOW if i'm to get my mum's birthday present by sunday!!! 15% off hee. and what if the allow further discount cos im a member? HMM oh well. not the point is it.

i just asked my dad why he never give me angbao. he said ya hor. HAHA I NEVER ASK WONT GET ONE LEH AIYOH HAHAH.

this post is so long! i got my mum cherry blossom puree body lotion, which smells nicer :3 i also got very belated birthday presents and soon to be coming birthday presents and shave cream for my dad. then i realised my dad DOESNT SHAVE HE HAS A BEARD WHICH HE INTENDS TO KEEP FOR A VERY LONG TIME OMG. he trims it, and i just measured for fun it is 2cm long. I BOUGHT HIM SOMETHING HE WILL NOT USE OMG ZZZ.

so what do i do with the shave cream now? sigh. people, i need your ideas!

anyway i am in love with the cherry blossom. it is so nice. yummy. tanya likes it too haha. actually, who wouldn't? IT'S DELISH.
it's so pretty!

right. i have to sleep because math tuition is at 9.30 in the morning tomorrow.

since i was born at 7+pm, i have been sixteen for officially 4 hours. awesome.

revised birthday list which makes a lot more sense:

1. earphones/headphones. cos i need them :D
2. jason mraz all three albums!
3. panic at the disco albums
4. pride and prejudice dvd (YUM)
5. the chronicles of narnia dvd (YUM YUM)
6. mamma mia! (MUSICAL-ly)
7. the body shop stuf (HUR HUR HUR)
8. watch a movie.
9. go out with people.
10. octagon sunnies
11. the UO dress. (10 and 11 not possible but hey, a girl can dream, no?)

MY MUM NEEDS THE COMP IM OUTTA HERE!

p.s. i don't expect people to actually get me these things cos they aren't very cheap but if they did i'd be thrilledddddddddd

and i hope no ones messages me at 12am. afterall, i was born at about 7pm. HAHA.

hello hello my birthday is approaching how exciting.

not really. but i am turning 16, so that's cool. i just wish O levels weren't this year.

anyway here are some things i want (HEEHEE)

just for fun lah.

1. awesome kickass sunnies. OMG I WANT THE OCTAGON ONES LAHHHH.
2.either colour. but they don't ship to Singapore so no hope already.
3. a pretty dress LOL.
4. nice birthday cards. letters. the works :)
5. very many outings with my friends :3
6. shopping?

i dont know what else. jason mraz albums? NARNIA DVDs HOHO. MAMMA MIA! pride and prejudiceeeeee. etc etc. the body shop whatever products.(i love them all)

i guess i just want to spend my birthday well with the people i love. luckily there's vesak day :3

oh oh oh i got the perfect gift for my mum for mother's day!!! the body shop yay. it's some hydrating puree. anyway i tried it and I LOVE IT. so she will love it too. ahaha im going to make my dad and brother share. oh well or at least my dad. it's about 32 bucks. it's so very yummy. i think i'll get the cocoa butter one for her birthday. or maybe the other way round. i love the body shop <3


YAYYY. love love love the awesome smells of the place. i think i shall get shower gels for people for their birthdays haha.

anyway i had such a weird bad dream today. seriously! i was crying. sobbing. it was so weird. i havent cried so much in a dream since i was five and i dreamt there was a shark in the swimming pool. i was crying like crazy then and my parents had to threaten me to get me to stop crying. it was scary okay.

anyway. i need to do homework.