slacking at macdonalds is so fun! went there with chingmay and keziah, sibyl walked with us but went home after that. the agenda was to revise biology(A math for chingmay) but we bought food and started talking until it was 6.40. i think the only way to do work there is when you have more time on your hands. i mean, if we went at 1.50 we'd have done something, but we only reached at about 4+.

oh well, it was fun talking anyway. [: and i seriously think i need more self-esteem! because. um. it's good for me. and um. lol i dunno. i want to feel good about myself lah. i feel tired berating myself all the time for not being 'ideal' in terms of looks? and weight.

the wonders that the influence of media can do to you. i judge people on the mrt all the time based on their clothes and looks even though it's wrong ): love tv but hate what it does to me.

but actually, i think i'm getting slightly better. today boonkiat said i was fatter(can't really remember what he said exactly) and i kinda ignored him. felt good leh! LOL.

and when i was in 4E3 today, eikkar told me he was impressed with the dance girls flexibility. he gave us an acronym, FF. (stands for f***ing flexible, LOLOL) tsk tsk vulgar eikkar.

yup. oh and when saliya says im fat i say, no im not fat. and then i stare at him. then he says ahh okay okay you're not. he also says im ugly. then i tell him he's uglier, AND he's shorter than me. MUAHAHA. feels awesome to tell him he's short. mainly because he hates it.

but i still think i need to lose weight. it's more about health though. im seriously eating a lottttt. so bad for my body. but lazy to do the Seventeen workouts haha.

I WANT TO WATCH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AGAINNN ): and i can't remember where this icon is from.

this banner reminds me of The Chronicles of Narnia. it's like susan and lucy running in the forest to play or something.

i can't wait for The Voyage of the Dawn Treader to come out. although william moseley/anna popplewell wont be in it, i still have skandar keynes(!) and georgie henley, and georgie has grown A LOT. she went from cute small little girl to cute young girl and when the third movie comes out she'll be a cute teenager.

skandar keynes is hotter now too :3 i love anna popplewell's skin! it's really fair and sort of translucent-y? luminescent. william is kinda hot too haha.

i like Aslan's voice. i think it's liam neeson? it's deep and reassuring. very calming. when Aslan comes, everything becomes right again.

i wonder who'll be cast as the Pevensie sibling's cousin. the name of the character is eustace (i forgot the last name). hope he's hot too even though he's supposed to be snobbish haha.

okay did i bore you there? so sorry.

tomorrow is april fools day. faris dared sabrina to come to school tomorrow because he had a prank up his sleeve. that faris loves to disturb sabrina. it's partly mainly because she's reacts so eaily and her expressions are classic. stop reacting, sabrina! only then will he cease to poke fun at you/make fun of you/tease you/play pranks on you.

this post is getting so wordy.

don't you love abrupt endings?

I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE TO STUDY SERIOUSLY.

imma move tuition to a later time and go to macs early in the morning to study. surprisingly it works cos i tried it last year even though i skipped a lot of the a math questions.

YES I SHOULD DO IT.

and staying back in school to do homework from now on.

OKAY BYE HAHA THIS WAS NICE AND SHORT.

I DIDNT BRING THE DIGICAM TODAY BTW BUT YIWEI GOT HER CAMERA SO SHE HAS LOTSA PICTURES YAY

UPLOAD AH YIWEI!

IM TYPING IN CAPS COS IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WORK BUT IM HERE SO IM FRANTIC.

OH GOODBYE WORLD!

my dad's cooking spaghetti!!! HAPPINESS OVERLOAD! and my mum's cooking for dinner! :D

and i'm baking a cake! 8D

hmm i hope they turn out well.

am replacing the blackberries in the recipe to blueberries, cos uh, no blackberries at home. and i think blueberries are prettier 8D

i dunno why got coffee. maybe coffee + blueberries = very nice?

dunno.

anyway, it's been so long since i've baked! EH WAIT. i just did in feb for valentines but yeah it kinda failed so...

okay imma go bake now!

-----

omg beating cream cheese is difficult!!! D: the most difficult task i have encountered. amd there is no coffee in these recipes. i think it is called as such because you eat it with coffee. yup.

creaming butter was okay, but adding the sugar in later on was terrible, because there was so much sugar and the recipe called for very little butter so the sugar refused to melt PFFT.

anyway i think the cake turned out not bad. it's rather pretty! :D but i don't know what it tastes like so yeah. hmm.

ANYWAY. people keep nagging at me and they're telling me to study and i know they mean well but can't the try another nicer tone to speak to me with so i can actually respond? cos i'm not responding. wait i am but not in the way they want me to.

AND. my aunts are killing me cos they keep calling. one keeps calling about the eng o lvls cos her company wants her to take. and the other calls about my cousin and zhss. Zzz. can't the company teach my aunt instead of me and can't my other aunt stop worrying so much over her kid? some things teens all go through. idk what she's so worried aboutttttttttttttttt

BYEBYE.

after dinner, my mum was using the computer, so i sat lay down on the hammock and was listening to music when i promptly fell asleep. i think i slept for uhhh, almost 45 min? very shiok. i never knew the hammock was so comfy.

i was sewing my chinese dance headdress thingy! it's actually pretty tiring you know. that's why i fell asleep.

i sewed the on red beads all by myself hee! and the bottom right side of the square beads! :D

SEO YOUNG!!! she's more reserved now, and she grew quite a bit!

YE YOUNG!!! pretty much the same, but i think she's prettier now!

JIANING!!! she doesn't to have her picture taken but i managed to get it anyway HAHAHA. i zoomed in for the second pic! her hair looks super pretty here!

NIGEL!!! he like, squinted and smiled lol. so cute!

okay i have more pictures but i'll take more on sunday when more kids should be coming. hannah, allie, seraphina and amos didn't come!

today while waiting for the bus, sabrina asked " can the jump gun?" because we were doing the rabbit/gun switching hands thingy and to make it more difficult you have to make the rabbit jump. i went " no, the jump cannot gun!"

heheh. sabrina is very cute LOL. i hope she doesn't read this later she get angry HEH.

i'm going to do my homework tomorrow! does anyone wanna go study with me? :3

a short one today.

i had a weird dream last night. * and # were together. * asked % if % was okay with it. % said yeah sure go ahead. * and # walked away together, happy.

people who heard it will know who *, # and % are.

after that i randomly dreamt of ghosts and jealous girls who kidnapped me and a bunch of other people and we were trying to escape cos we had our phones with us. ._.

also, we laughed a lot on english class today. mr lim told us a non explicit dirty joke. the really pure innocent ones didn't get it.

i came up with the tuesday couple. it's mine, don't steal it. it's a great song name, story name, and band name. i feel like writing a short story on the tuesday couple, and if only i was a good lyricist, i would write a song too.

i have a ton of work to do. i'm tired and hungry. goodnight.

last english tuition lesson - yesterday.

i'm relieved that it's over, frankly. i could hardly do anything on tuesdays because of double ssp and tuition. imma bake for my teacher during the weekend and give it to her through my mum on monday!

i happen to be the last person from the old tuition group that has "graduated". first, yukai left. then joseph and alexandra vanished without a trace. then it was andrew and me. then jasmine came. then this guy came then he left. then michelle came, then kenneth came, then andrew left, jasmine left, michelle left, myrra came, regeant came, josiah and his brother came, josiah and his brother left...

i left.

i miss the original group! everyone was friends. they went to mac donalds after tuition, sometimes i would join them even though i got home really late and my parents got worried. the niceness sort of dissipated when jasmine came. not that she wasn't nice, but she was very studious. andrew and i... we were procrastinators. we didn't click. then more people came and it just wasn't the same.

okay i shall stop, because tanya said she read two posts and stopped cos my posts are way too wordy. i can't help it, i like talking to myself. and i have no photos to make it less boring, haha.

actually i have photos of seo young and ye young but ahh, leave it to next week.

a cute random picture for you guys...

and this one is for me! i like it cos it's so pretty. i get these from this girl who makes awesome icons and here's her page: http://community.livejournal.com/lettertoalover/

i'm too lazy to make it a link. anyway, she's pretty awesome. if you do go and grab her icons, drop a comment and credit her can! on blogger it's difficult so i shall officially credit her now. the icons with each blog post are her's, and most of the icons i use or post here are most probably her's.

her stock icons are the besttttttt.

heart waffles! don't eat my heart!(lame)

i shouldn't be distracted.

i need an


alright, i have one million things to do. chinese, chem, english, amath, emath, wow i'm going to die! have to bathe first too!

see ya.

i am tired and disheveled. my hair is some unkempt mess, and feels kinda oily/greasy. Zzz.

on a higher point, i finished filing!(not quite, but whatever.)

why am i so tired?

i have a clogged up sweat gland in my eye and it resulted in a chalazion. it's almost like a pea is growing inside of your eyelid but it doesn't really hurt, only if i press it... basically it's a lump of material in my eyelid. glandular inflammation! if i had let it go on it might have gotten worse. my eye!!! it would have been swollen. so... luckily i went to the doctor? i have to put some weird eye ointment 3 times a day. it's sticky. very sticky. and makes my eyelid look shiny.

i hope it doesn't get bigger! what if i have to remove it? omg scary.

in the morning i had this weird bout of very very low self-confidence. something like that. it was strange, considering how happy i am these days, but that's just it. i have these huge pendulum-like mood swings it's awfully scary. and i'm not even having my period. which was why i used to think i was bipolar. which i don't think i am anymore because i don't turn violent and excessively moody and suicidal to manically happy and etc.

i know because i went to read about it. perhaps i am merely an angst ridden teenager.

i went to sit in the hammock just now and i overturned this wooden plank which had three potted plants sitting on it. luckily the pots are made of plastic and they are quite small. shouldn't have tried to swing. i think it's gonna fall very many more times because my dad will overturn it and i will forget and do it again. Zzz.

i want to sleep! i need to catch up with homework homework homework. am so tired of procrastinating already. i need to be good now. 0:) see my awesome halo LOL.

okay i just bought a teal dress and white skirt from claudia. HAHAHAHAH. she's bringing it tomorrow~

lol.

***

okay. radical discipleship. serious. must. be. good.

p.s. i know this was an abrupt ending but um, i don't know how else to end it so HAHA.

bye!

can i complain about the new timetable before going to the doctor?

WHY MDM NORAINI FOR SS NOW!!! MS TAN WAS GETTING TO BE SO MUCH BETTER AND A LOT OF US LIKE HER SO MUCH MORE NOW!!!

Zzz.

noraini wears these weird ugly baju kurongs to school. once she wore this really ugly red/white/green/orange one. looked almost like a watermelon. and, i heard she's kinda stuck-up. who wants a teacher who talks about how great she is all the time? i know i don't. and someone told me she majored in english?!?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? when the hods were giving us a talk on the different subs she came after the eng hod and she was like yes yes i agreee you must speak good english but come on, she made grammar errors while she was talking can. how can major in english like that?

i am a grammar nazi. english geek. i will spot your mistakes okay teachers. (PRINCIPAL ALSO MAKES MISTAKES ALL THE TIME. keziah and me go mad over this all the time too.)

and mr lew for PE?!?! that old fogey. Zzz.

and i heard the EMath bands were going to change. oh man please don't. i want ms tan soo lan please. she be awesome 8D

i wonder if teachers read my blog.

HI. no offence if i insulted you. of course if you were nice i wouldn't right. no-brainer lol.
okay. i am not wasting anymore time. doctor please diagnose my apparent illness!

i am back. because. i have this weird lumpy thingy in my eye omg i hope it isnt an alien. it's really round. and it hurts slightly when i press my eyeball. poor left eye. no wonder it's been looking cheena-ish ans swollen for the past few days. i thought it was lack of rest. clearly i am wrong.

i think i shall go and see the doc tmr and get it over and done with. it's scaring me. i wanna know what it is.

sian can. i have heartburn, and most recently, tension headaches. now, this weird lumpy dumpy thingy in my eye. WHY?!?!

i still have to do my hmwk though. have a gazillion files and homework stuff to do/hand in. i think i'll go to school after seeing the doc.

hmm.

weird sicknesses, i humbly request that you leave my body. BE GONE!

must pray.

oh yes. i checked nuffnang and someone searched 'dolly ong' and came to my blog?!?!

i must stop mentioning teachers and principals and vice principals in my blog huh. if you are reading this though, mrs ong, with all due respect, i think you're over doing it with the huge SCHOLARS . LEADERS thing over our beloved li yi lian chi. it's much older than scholars and leader and we like it better. even if you call my parents etc i'm not really bothered? because i'm not saying anything really bad about the school or the staff etc. it's just expressing my opinions. on the bright side, i'm blogging in perfect english!

okay fine. i have the occasional sian and wahlao and uh. lahs and lors. i'm singaporean, it cannot be helped, sadly.

anyway i don't think my parents would scold me or anything. i'll just be more careful when mentioning people in the future yup.

somehow i love that line a lot. look at the title if you're confused. it must be the hopeless romantic that lives inside of my cynic self.

hmm.

head over heels is perfectly normal. your head is always over your heels, no? it should be heels over head, but then it would sound weird already. english is weird.

BC family day yesterday! walked for... idk how long. we walked for one and a half hours. about normal speed. i'm a little tired today but my muscles aren't aching which is good. dinner was oily. LOL.

cam-whoring is mandatory when you have a new phone!
:)

teeth :D my eyes look so small but ahh i can hardly care anymore. that's good! (: high self-esteem!

an emo-ish one.

my grandmother is so cute XD

oh and the korean girls came today!!! ye young was about the same but seo young was much more reserved. the dopey in her is dormant now! i took a couple of photos but i'm too lazy to upload to the comp from my phone. tomorrow, perhaps? or maybe next week when i use my dad's lousy digicam which has loads more space haha.

heehee. i love my phone, even though it lags a little and i sent an unfinished sms to yiwei today. otherwise, alls good! oh and more memory space would be AWESOME. no matter though, it isn't very necessary.

today i was mildly confused, during church. HMM. very very strange but it's most likely a case of over-sensitivity on my part. still, weird, and confusing.


Wide Awake - Making April

to you.
the word is out that I'm not giving in, and if you're ready by now, well, it's too late to begin.

i love making april. i want their albums please. their lyrics = awesome. last year they were on repeat while my pillow soaked up my tears. but i'm all better now yay! sometimes guys aint worth our tears, girls.

okay i feel aunt agony like so i shall stop. honestly though, i wasted my precious time can?! over reacting for nothing.

you know what? i'm going to do chinese homework now. don't disturb me! i must finish!!!

im sick of the music i have currently. i should download more music but i can't be bothered. i am so lazy. but i need more awesome music. i want jason mraz albums. as in, i want to buy all three.

i have an alibi. i hope that is enough to cover up.

***

small dreamy kisses, wet toes in the sand.

where did it all begin?

we don't even remember. wholly snug in your arms, looking at you, while you gaze into the sky. say, wouldn't it be great if we could stay here for eternity? everything feels real and natural. it's like the lock-and-key hypothesis. we just fit.

the sky is dark and the waves lap softly at our feet. all is quiet. i am content. you taste like the sea, tangy and salty, but you manage to retain your characteristic syrupy sweetness.

we could be forever and a day.

am i committing the abhorrent crime of being tautological? i do apologise. other than that, all else is unblemished.

when was the last time you were exultant?

***

i am feeling whimsical.


my phone wallpaper.

keep up the optimism.

i bought passion fruit lip butter from the body shop today. I COULDN'T HELP IT! it was too awesome. lol. it's sitting in front of me now, all perfection.

i want the cherry blossom shower gel and whatever other stuff they have. Zzz. no money.

i realised when i looked at my facebook profile today, that i was apparently interested in women. what a scary thought. my seemingly lesbian acts with chingmay are only for the eyes of Mr Ng the VP, who looks at us disgustedly when he spots us linking arms or resting heads on the other person's shoulder in the canteen during lunch break.

I LIKE BOYS! LOL.

i cannot stress that fact enough.

i am currently doing AMath. will not be able to finish in time. the procrastination bug caused this, you see.

i am loving my new phone.

words do not do justice to its awesomeness.

shoes i want more shoes.

i am afraid. this isn't supposed to happen. i can't do this! my brain and heart embarked on different paths. how interesting.

i'm not making much sense.

goodbye. i shall get a diary and not blog as often. my mum would be pleased.

YES YOU READ IT RIGHTTTTTTT.

i got a new phone, you see. HAHAHAHA. i finally got a new phone. whoohoo!

LG. KF750. awesome. the only problem is i keep touching the screen -.- my brain keeps thinking it's a touch screen phone. only up/down/left/right then touch one.

anyway i'm happyyyy. like, after three years my parents got me a new phone. i will miss my dear vintage phone lol. my brother can use it for NS hahaha.

---

yesterday i didnt have tuitionnnnnnnnnn. so awesome. my last lesson is next tuesday and after that I AM FREE.

:D

so happy! lol.

---

this bout of happiness is disconcerting. i wouldn't want to slide back into my weird mood swing again. hmm. okay anyway i had subway yesterday with chingmay. very happy. did most of my tuition homework. very happy also. bought tan coloured cotton on flats. super happy.

i want to get a diary. i need to scribble lost of things down.

yesterday we walked around in PS(with chingmay & her friend nicholas aka bomb). it was relaxing but i thought i had tuition so i left early -.-

it wasn't until i went home and told my maid i wanted to eat early that my mum told me there wasn't tuition.

apparantly my tuition teacher said "i need a break!" so cute, haha. i'd love her more if she didn't give so much homework. but then, if she didn't i wouldn't improve. Zzz.

so i slacked yesterday. very fun. talked to chingmay on the phone. (I AM ON TEAM N/B OKAY CHING.)

sian you're in camp cannot see this.

---

DILEMMA LAH. i can't do this. it's just really weird, you know. okay so you don't. but yeah.

i can't tell you because i can't.

---

dance was stupid today. danced A LOT. i hate chinese dance. my knees hurt. gonna have very many bruises tomorrow. the hall floor is harder than the dance studio floor. and dirtier. disgusting.

i also have bruises on my outer wrist and side of my elbow.

stupid dance.

---

MY MUM WANTS TO BAN ME FROM MSN AND BLOGGING HAHAHA.

IMPOSSIBLE.

alright alright she's nagging so i shall leave. i'm still happy!

YAY.

<3

KYLE SHAVED!!!

yahlah i know i'm obsessed. cannot meh. lol.

he looks better. i very happy.

new album please come out soon. Zzz.

my old flame~

cannot forget them. Zzz. ben romans still looks like a hobo. heh actually it's not that bad but still.

ethan's the worst. his long hair i buay tahan.

I'M STILL TIRED.off to bed.

i kept thinking on the bus on the way home things could have been like this of only...

i don't want to, but i keep on doing it. i think, i might be sliding back. oh hello, i'm back to the drawing board, back to square one. not a very good feeling, but somehow i can't help it? strange.

chingmay's chalet yesterday/today. the smell of booze/ciggies was killing me. gah.

yesterday/today i kept going "so cute" at two people. but they really are cute together. they aren't even mushy. hoho.

I LOST THE MOTIVATION TO BLOG.

anyway. i had about 3 hrs of sleep. so fun right. going to bed earlier tonight.

i should start making lists.

1. FILE EVERYTHING. i completely forgot you know?!
2. DO HOLIDAY HOMEWORK! (chinese most important.)
3.TUITION HOMEWORKKKK
4. STOP PROCRASTINATING.

the camp was okay. today they tried to make us cry. they succeeded. i cried for a bit but i didn't really feel anything after that.


anyway. v tired.

haha skipped dance again today cos of camp! so happy.

my stomach hurts. Zzz. maybe it's bloatedness.

sleep. night.

camp was surprisingly okay. except the last part, when we were all tired and the third trainer wasn't as funny or energetic and entertaining as the two before her.

i'm so tired. i really wonder why. sleeping early doesn't seem to help.

i hate filing.

my eyelids simply refuse to stay open. what is wrong with me?

i have to take about 14 pills in one day now. hah.

i realised today that i can't exert myself too hard(e.g. climbing stairs too fast) or my head will start throbbing like crazy.

what do i have a brain tumour or something. paranoia. pfft.

how to survive another day of camp tomorrow?

hey chingmay maybe i need counseling too. haha. but then, i'll find it really hard to open up to Mr. Ivan Lee. he's male, and part of the school. but i don't have much for him to tell anyone, because i stopped having suicidal thoughts a long time ago. and i'm pretty sure i don't have clinical depression.

but still, the stigma of going to a school counsellor.

i'm tired, exhausted, even. it's just so weird because our first trainer has these huge eyebags and he said he hasn't had a good sleep for really long but he's still full of energy. (keziah insists he's a vampire due to the purpleish eye bags he has. he does look like one actually but vampires can't live in sunny singapore. they'll reflect light! LOL.) i sleep at 10pm and wake up at 6am and still manage to be tired.

gah.

tired. i can't be the strong one anymore. but if it's in my capacity to help people, why should i stop just because i'm tired?

am i wallowing in self-pity?

i suppose i just have to suck this up and go on. the light at the end of the tunnel and rainbow at the end of the storm should give me enough comfort to press on. God will always be here for me.

it's almost like many people are saying things to enourage me along the way. even the Lent devotional. it's almost like God's speaking to me personally.

i am ashamed at the state of my spiritual life, but i'm trying harder. the lent devotional auntie Lillian Gan gave me helps, since the reading is even printed out for me to read. no need to flip through the Bible. after Lent i'll go and start on my one-year devotional which i won (third prize) for sunday school last year.

gosh my laziness shocks me sometimes.

i need to put all my trust in God. i need to remind myself He's always here.

i want to be less cynical.

goodnight.

hi. i'm back.

occasionally my brain feels like it's tightening. i don't exactly know how to describe it?

haha skipped dance~ very happy.

i actually kind of miss the click five. i guess it's like a first love, something you never really forget. except i get very annoyed when people like jasper/joel keep talking about them in front of me. like, hello, didn't you get the memo? i don't love them to bits anymore. joel even came up to me after the gig when we were going to burger king and said 'eh it's too bad we didn't play the click five hor.'

seriously, i don't care if you play their music a not. Zzz.

and, kyle looks like a hobo now. no kyle, you don't look some a soulful musician, you look like a homeless man. tsk. anyway they self financed their new album, which should be coming out soon. i think i'm still going to support them. perhaps getting dropped from their label is the best thing that's happened?

hmm. i'm still tired. going to bed early. i haven't filed A LOT of stuff. i should have brought home some stuff yesterday. oh well.

motivational camp. i'm going to try my best to do something else during the thing. haha.

i need a new diary.

i think i want to do child psychology & early education or early childhood education. yeas there is a difference. the former is for special kids (e.g. autistic) and the latter for healthy kids. don't know which i want. i need to know to cut off points to aim properly though.

wow i can't believe my eyes are closing. VERY WEIRD. i slept from like 1pm to 4+pm leh!

oh well.

i still want to watch he's just not that into you but i guess i can't anymore. i'll just wait. pfft.

i think i'll cancel tuition tomorrow. camp ends late.

tired. bed. bye. sleep.

i'm very close to 600 posts.

no school or me today~ the doc gave me loads of medicine. he asked me if i had been sleeping enough. i felt like saying no but i sleep at 10! i think it's dance that's draining me. i have two types of medicine but they're both for pain. apparently one is for my headache and the other is for my aching neck.

anyway, i'm having my period not which is awesome cos the medicine can work for my cramps/back ache also. very good, because i abhor panadol. no offence.

motivational camp tomorrow. how exciting! not.

oh well. my eyes are closing. goodbye, you all.

heartburn acting upppp. antacid is making me burp like crazyyyy. lol.

after debate today i had a headache. slacked during dance. i still danced though.

gah i'm so tired. contemplating skipping school tomorrow but there's a chem test and i don't want to miss it, even though i'm going to fail anyway.

SUPER SIAN OF DANCE.

don't know why i'm so tired. i sleep at around 10+ which is quite early but i still feel tired. very strange.

i can't wait for the march holidays, at least i'll be able to sleep a little longer for a few days.

OH YAH. we have to make our own stupid head dress for dance. LIKE WHAT THE HELL.

stupid nonsense. cannot take it.

SO TIRED. not studying at all.

so. i went for this gig yesterday. Bianca on vocals and whoever else was playing. there were quite a lot of people there. unexpected. Chingmay didn't tell me i had to buy i ticket, that nut. she managed to convince me to go for the thing then i had to pay 12 bucks for a ticket. gah. and the whole thing was kinda short. didn't stay to listen to the rest of the other bands. Miss Koh Chingmay you might want to mention there is COST involved the next time you attempt to drag me to one of these things.

Chingmay refunded me 6 bucks later on but still, not expected. and it was expensive. Zzz.

i thought the music was loud. expected, but still. Bianca was practically yelling the songs into the mic but she wasn't even very loud. oh well. it wasn't too bad, overall. not much comments. i think.

anyway i completely forgot about Joel's twin Noel. then after the gig was over we were outside and he was just commenting on the weather. he asked Eugene why it rained and i seriously forgot and said something sarcastic/cynical. i said, because water evaporates. and i was going to say more, like it condenses and forms clouds and then it gets heavy and grey and it starts raining but i decided against it and then i noticed he was wearing a different shirt then i was like, shit.

he gave me a -what the hell did i ever do to you to deserve this?- face. shocked, obviously. oh well. it's a very typical 'me' comment anyway.

anyway, if i knew i had to pay 12 6 bucks i wouldn't have gone. i wanted to find myself some clothes. bah. a shirtdress and a boatneck dress. or maybe loafers. i want loafers. i saw a blue chiffon dress at topshop before going to church after that but i didn't check the price. it must cost a bomb, so yeah. pfft.

met Chingmay's neighbour. had early dinner with them + Bryan Loo. it was quite nice because we didn't have to talk to the other people with us. i suppose i'm mean but i don't really enjoy their company.

after that i had to go to church for youth fellowship. it was a little strange because we thought it was a talk about BGR but a hospice nurse from Health Serve came and it was an educational talk about HIV and AIDS. so it was weird and almost disappointing.

motivational camp on thursday, friday and saturday. way to go. suck my days dry, why don't you.

chem test, tuesday. just kill me already.

and yes, it affected me. not that i let it show. the pretence of indifference. how unsatisfactory. i suppose when i really am indifferent i wouldn't notice anymore.

Counting sheep's old and painted on smiles are pretty, jaded eyes are valuable.

was browsing through my old posts and saw this. i still like it.

where have my weird but pretty words gone to?

i hate mdm liang. she said it'll be better for me to slim down. of course, the dance teacher agreed. i came home and cried. yeah this topic is too darn sensitive for anyone to tell me that. it's like a wound, very fresh, and she just poked her finger in it. i peel the scab off sometimes so it doesn't heal but my friends try and stop me but then the dance teacher and mdm cca teacher-in-charge do this to me.

it's not even important but to me it's like this huge thing.

i don't know. mountain out of a molehill but whatever. i've been hurt before about this and even though i've forgiven my ballet teacher i still haven't gotten over this.

sometimes i hate myself for not getting over it but HECK i have horrible self image okay.

i just told the whole world.

sigh.

why do i work so hard for dance anyway. it's not like i even dance xiao yang's part in the end. i never get to rest. i hate dance. i hate it.

i'm so tired. why can't mum stop nagging for a bit. i need to stop thinking.

oh i'm taking your advice, and i'm looking on the bright side, and i'm balancing out the whole thing.

I’m not the person you want to meet. The music is. And the music is alive in you as much as it is in me. We created it together. Therefore, you already know me. We’ve already hugged and kissed. We grew close for a moment and then said our goodbyes.

-Jason Mraz

oh Jason. i promise to buy the tickets to your concert the day sistic releases them the next time round. keziah and me will make a 'it's alien fresh!' and a 'freshness factor five thousand' back to back poster. i hope you had fun in singapore. i hope you come back soon.

anybody hear my muted screams of anguish?

D:

i am tired. shall sleep and attempt to distract myself from thinking about not being at the indoor stadium now.

i'm getting real quiet in class these days. somehow i don't even feel like having social interaction. except on the internet of course haha.

i don't know why.

mraz on thursday. sucks. i am NOT going to miss his next gig here. even if i have no money. borrow from my parents first. MRAZ OH MRAZ. Zzz.

my tummy hurts. is it gas?

very confused. has been hurting the whole night. i shall go to bed. maybe get some medicated oil.

the last post wasn't emo!

am so proud of myself, hohoho.

well, only the front part was weird.

i love my current dp.
haha.

i be tired. gonna hit the sack early.

suspicion. it is highly probable. this would thus lead into my being sad. but no matter. i will be fine in time. i only wonder how long.

i am incomprehensible. disclosing details of this is... uncomfortable. has nothing to do with anyone except myself. hmm.

hello. the post begins properly here. i have not much to say though. my only wish is to whine about how little clothes i have. haha. i want casual dresses. makes getting ready all the easier. no hassle of mixing and matching tops and bottoms.

chinese test tomorrow. hope there will be a list of ci yu to choose from. five ke wen, 50 cheng yu. too many to stuff into my dear little brain.

i really want to watch He's Just Not That Into You. sounds interesting and Ms Claudia Ang said on her blog that it was good so i want to watch it all the more. i want to free my weekends! (mainly saturdays) then i can go out. by myself, with people, whatever. doing nothing in particular is nice.

i can't imagine O levels. bah.

the two korean girls(from church) are coming back in about two weeks! i can't wait. i haven't seen them for so long. lynette nicknamed one Grumpy, and then i nicknamed the other one Dopey. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs! haha xD they are the cutest, serious. photos as proof!

this here's Seo Young.

Ye Young, also known as Grumpy. she looks angry here. she used to look angry all the time till she got more used to us.

Grumpy is happy here and Dopey is as dopey as ever. i think seo young's haircut is tragic. her fringe!!! ye young's hair growth has done her well.

i shall update this with more pictures if i please later on because blogger suddenly turned bitchy. pms-y. ciao.

update: i couldn't resist. i really can't wait for them to get back.

"Don't take my picture, you paparazzi!"

"Oh dear. I'm running out of lollipop."

super cute in their hanboks. having sisterly fun. lol.

oh and this is Matthew who is now five years old. he used to be four. sigh.

not smiling:he was staring at the camera. then i showed him this and told him to smile.

second time's the charm:so cute now! as you can see it was in august. national day~

and now i suspect i might start uploading photos of the rest of the kiddos.

Hannah's the cutie pie. everybody loves her! looking inquisitive here. has fantastic memory. she remembers my name oh joy! xD

you wouldn't fall in love with Jia Ning straightaway but she's smart and cute in her own way. she's real quiet too. i don't think she likes photo-taking. i want to carry her (super cute) but only my mum has done that so far. Zzz.

Allie's the princess. she's cute but kind of shy. can be very mischievous. here she is sitting by herself. no lah i was sitting with her. she doesn't let most people carry her. in fact i can only carry her if her mother and grandmother aren't around. other than that, nope.

there's still nigel and seraphina and the latest addition, amos! amos is super cute. he's barely two years old. next weel i'm so bringing the camera(actually it's my dad's digicam lol) and take pics of everyone.

awesome.

the kids make me happy.

peace.